Dear White Women,
You won’t believe this, but…it’s OK to take time before you speak on something. Some issues, some people, and some pasts are nuanced. It doesn’t sweep things under a rug, it doesn’t paint a different light on those involved, but in times of mourning or celebration, it’s totally fine to not bring up the complexities or demons of someone who has passed.
Within minutes of the announced death of basketball legend Kobe Bryant, many of you were quick to say things like, “why would you mourn a rapist?” or “there are other heroes you should mourn.” The why is because a lot of Black men in particular don’t have the types of heroes that you all are keen to accept- but I think you prefer to call them “spirit animals”, especially when it’s a woman of color. There’s a quote from John F. Kennedy, Jr. — “…But it does seem to me, as I read these biographies of great men through history, they were not particularly great at home. Even my father was no model — and I think it would be a much more interesting challenge to see if I could make myself into a good man.”
But how do we seek out the goodness in greats? Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. lead the Civil Rights Movement but also cheated on his wife. Malcolm X committed a series of burglaries that left him incarcerated prior to his stint in the Nation of Islam. Michael Jordan gambled, Mike Tyson went to prison for rape, Tiger Woods had issues with infidelity- the list goes on and on of prominent…